Yet again Patrick and i made the journey to Las Vegas to visit Lindsey and Brice. It was bunch of fun.
We left Saturday morning around 5:30 and got to Vegas between 10 and 11. I'm not entirely sure because when we finally rolled into town the whole family was at Kaylee's soccer game and so we went and met them at the soccer park first. (Go Dragonflies!) thank goodness for little league. I think we were their for about and hour.
I'm sure no one will believe me when i say that the weather was pretty much perfect in Vegas. It could not have been hotter than the mid nineties. Much better than our very very cold 45 and 50's. (so much for Global Warming)
Any who like i said we had a ton of fun it was my kind of weekend. We sat in front of the tv and ate. It was very nice and relaxing. But we did do a few things. Lindsey and I found a way to get off our rears and go and get some take out. What a way to be even more lazy. Order on the phone get in the car and go get it. come home sit back in the same warm spot and eat. it was Awesome. too bad the restaurant we went to did not have curb side service.
Some other things we did were...going to the park, going and getting ice cream and going to Pets Mart to see the animal. Audrey and Tyler really loved looking at the fish. And Lindsey and i amused ourselves by tapping on the fish tanks and watching the fish scurry. I know it's mean but it was fun. :)
Like I said the rest of the time was spent in front of the t.v. Lindsey and i did have the opportunity to watch P.S. I love you on PPV. but we had to go upstairs because heaven knows the earth will be destroyed if the boys did not get to see their games. I say games because they watched several that day.
When we got to Vegas we were joking with Brice and Lindsey about using their kids as guinea pigs so that we could catch Audrey in the act of biting and so that we can properly discipline her. mind you we were only joking but she really really did bit them. All the time. she didn't bit on Monday morning but she was tearing flesh on Saturday and Sunday. I was getting so mad and embarrassed. I feel so horrible about it. I'm sure Lindsey and Brice are not happy with us.
Really what am i supposed to do? she is only 16 months old. but I still feel bad. Sorry guys. I mean she left so major marks. She bruised Kaylee pretty bad and she also gave Tyler a bruise.
Hopefully Audrey finally understood us because man would we get mad at her. I just hope the biting thing is almost over. I just hope that they decide to invite us back with our little vampire.
I'm taking up too much of your time.
Loves,
Elizabeth, Patrick and The Count Dracula
May 14, 2008
May 9, 2008
Live by the 24 Hour Rule
UVU just had the faculty and staff Summer University. It's an opportunity for employees to get training and learn other things about the school from keynote speakers and other workshops.
This years theme was "UVU It's our brand". They had it that because as you might know the school will become a university on July 1st.
I digress, Yesterday was the final day where the 4 major areas of the school had a big keynote speaker that they were required to go to. Not a big deal it's an opportunity for me to get out of my hole.
The woman who came talked about Conflict Resolution in the work place and even in our personal lives.
She has broken down people into 6 different styles on how they deal with conflict. Now she wanted to point out that you are not just one all the time you can be one at work and a different one at church and another one at home. she also states that you cannot force another person to change their conflict style, but you can influence them for good and change your style when needed.
the 6 styles were:
Just a little info about the styles
Demander mentality: I, We, You. They care more about themselves then you. They use physical or emotional force to get their way. They are good talkers and like others to obey them. It's my way or the highway. they can easily hold there ground.
Convincer mentality: I, We, You. They attempt to persuade someone to accept there point of view. They are smooth talkers, charming and charismatic. Usually likable and have good leadership skills. They love to debate and tend to exaggerate.
Negotiators mentality: We, I, You. They like to compromise and find the middle ground. They are fair, reasonable and good listeners and good talkers. Very social and love the process of meeting in the middle. They normally exaggerate their initial position.
Team workers: We, You, I. They like to collaborate and use creativity to make everyone satisfied. They are creative, considerate, good listeners and talkers. Usually focus on the positive. They are only completely happy if others are happy too.
Supporters Mentality: You, We, I. They Strengthen, encourage, and listen to others to empower them to solve problems. They are excellent listeners. Good at reading peoples non-verbal cues as well as their verbal cues. They are considerate and compassionate with others. They think a lot and talk a little.
Avoiders Mentality: You, We, I. They ignore problems, giving in, procrastinating, or with draw. They are pensive. Thoughtful, and good listeners. Reads non-verbal cues and uses non verbal communication to express themselves. Usually open up with one on one communication and are more quiet in large social settings. they take conflict personally. A mature avoider will transcend. this allows them to have a problem, avoid it, and then not fester about the problem.
Okay so now that i have explained all of that you need to understand something else.
When you approach a conflict you need to figure out which conflict style is more effective. You need to ask yourself one question. how important is the conflict to you? and rate it on a 1-10 scale.
0-3 (the "you" team) avoid and support
4-7 (the "we" team) negotiate and work together
8-10 (the "I" team) Demand/ Convince
so if you don't really care about some thing but the other person is passionate about it support the person and don't give them a hard time about the situation.
If you both have are passionate about it you need to negotiate and work together as a team to find a solution.
Does any of this make sense. but that is what her philosophy is in a nut shell.
But with in all of this she brought up a very important point the 24 hour rule.
If you are normally an avoider and like bring old conflicts or old emotions up 3 weeks later or months or heaven forbid years later. you need to learn to speak up and if you can not talk about the problem with in 24 hours do not bring it up ever ever again. If you did bring it up and the two parties came to a resolution you can not bring it up the conflict and your hurt feelings again ever ever ever (Can not stress that enough) because you came to a resolution. sorries were exchanged and you can not bring up the past and catch people off guard like that.
If you are a demander wait 24 hours or a few hours before you bring something up. Talking about it fresh on you mind does not help the situation and just makes the problem worse. This is pretty much self explaining i don't think i need to talk about it too much because if you are a demander you know who you are and you know what you need to do.
So this is my challenge to everyone. Live by the 24 hour rule. Talk about things and asses conflict situations and be the one in control by taking a step back and looking at the conflict styles that are fighting. If you don't care about it don't play devils advocate and make someone who is passionate even more mad. just figure it out on the scale and find a peaceful way to resolve to conflict.
easier said than done!
Loves,
Elizabeth, Patrick and Audrey.
This years theme was "UVU It's our brand". They had it that because as you might know the school will become a university on July 1st.
I digress, Yesterday was the final day where the 4 major areas of the school had a big keynote speaker that they were required to go to. Not a big deal it's an opportunity for me to get out of my hole.
The woman who came talked about Conflict Resolution in the work place and even in our personal lives.
She has broken down people into 6 different styles on how they deal with conflict. Now she wanted to point out that you are not just one all the time you can be one at work and a different one at church and another one at home. she also states that you cannot force another person to change their conflict style, but you can influence them for good and change your style when needed.
the 6 styles were:
- Demand
- Convince
- Negotiate
- Team work
- Support
- Avoid
Just a little info about the styles
Demander mentality: I, We, You. They care more about themselves then you. They use physical or emotional force to get their way. They are good talkers and like others to obey them. It's my way or the highway. they can easily hold there ground.
Convincer mentality: I, We, You. They attempt to persuade someone to accept there point of view. They are smooth talkers, charming and charismatic. Usually likable and have good leadership skills. They love to debate and tend to exaggerate.
Negotiators mentality: We, I, You. They like to compromise and find the middle ground. They are fair, reasonable and good listeners and good talkers. Very social and love the process of meeting in the middle. They normally exaggerate their initial position.
Team workers: We, You, I. They like to collaborate and use creativity to make everyone satisfied. They are creative, considerate, good listeners and talkers. Usually focus on the positive. They are only completely happy if others are happy too.
Supporters Mentality: You, We, I. They Strengthen, encourage, and listen to others to empower them to solve problems. They are excellent listeners. Good at reading peoples non-verbal cues as well as their verbal cues. They are considerate and compassionate with others. They think a lot and talk a little.
Avoiders Mentality: You, We, I. They ignore problems, giving in, procrastinating, or with draw. They are pensive. Thoughtful, and good listeners. Reads non-verbal cues and uses non verbal communication to express themselves. Usually open up with one on one communication and are more quiet in large social settings. they take conflict personally. A mature avoider will transcend. this allows them to have a problem, avoid it, and then not fester about the problem.
Okay so now that i have explained all of that you need to understand something else.
When you approach a conflict you need to figure out which conflict style is more effective. You need to ask yourself one question. how important is the conflict to you? and rate it on a 1-10 scale.
0-3 (the "you" team) avoid and support
4-7 (the "we" team) negotiate and work together
8-10 (the "I" team) Demand/ Convince
so if you don't really care about some thing but the other person is passionate about it support the person and don't give them a hard time about the situation.
If you both have are passionate about it you need to negotiate and work together as a team to find a solution.
Does any of this make sense. but that is what her philosophy is in a nut shell.
But with in all of this she brought up a very important point the 24 hour rule.
If you are normally an avoider and like bring old conflicts or old emotions up 3 weeks later or months or heaven forbid years later. you need to learn to speak up and if you can not talk about the problem with in 24 hours do not bring it up ever ever again. If you did bring it up and the two parties came to a resolution you can not bring it up the conflict and your hurt feelings again ever ever ever (Can not stress that enough) because you came to a resolution. sorries were exchanged and you can not bring up the past and catch people off guard like that.
If you are a demander wait 24 hours or a few hours before you bring something up. Talking about it fresh on you mind does not help the situation and just makes the problem worse. This is pretty much self explaining i don't think i need to talk about it too much because if you are a demander you know who you are and you know what you need to do.
So this is my challenge to everyone. Live by the 24 hour rule. Talk about things and asses conflict situations and be the one in control by taking a step back and looking at the conflict styles that are fighting. If you don't care about it don't play devils advocate and make someone who is passionate even more mad. just figure it out on the scale and find a peaceful way to resolve to conflict.
easier said than done!
Loves,
Elizabeth, Patrick and Audrey.
May 2, 2008
Family Prayer
I have the cutest story to tell you about in the midst of all the bad that has been happening.And there has been a lot and a lot of bad. (I'm only talking about the sleeping habits, goodness don't freak out! You act as though something really is wrong. Am i missing something?)
Last night we had family prayer in the living room next to the couch. Patrick and I were kneeling and Audrey was sitting on the couch. I had leaned my arms and head on the couch to pray. When i was finished with the prayer Audrey immediately dropped her head to the couch crossed her arms and started baby talking. She said a few things and then lifted her head with the biggest grin on her face.
I know that this sounds funny but we think that Audrey said her first prayer. Obviously she doesn't really understand what a prayer is and was only mimicking what i was doing. (She does that a lot! Grandma Spencer gave Audrey a toy vacuum for christmas or her birthday. I'm not sure the gifts run together around that time of year for obvious reasons. and when every i pull out the vacuum she goes and finds her toy and starts to vacuum the room that i just finished. She also likes to find one of my brushes and brush her hair.)Anyway i detour from the subject at hand. But i believe that is a first step to understanding prayer.
Isn't that just the greatest face?
Elizabeth :)
Bed time Update
So I would like to update you on the screaming situation.
Last night i decided to do the "bed time routine" an hour later than normal. (Plus we didn't leave my moms til after 8:30.) Anyway, We started the routine at 9. I gave her a bath. put her in some pj's. I brushed her teeth and put orajel on them. I let her sit and read a book. and then let her play around quietly for a little while. After that we had family prayer and then we put her to bed. When we picked her up to go to bed she started screaming and screaming. We weren't even in her bedroom yet. She screamed for about 2 minutes and then fell asleep. About an hour or so later she woke up again and we didn't go and get her and she fell back to sleep in about 5 minutes. over all it was a nice night. Both of us got to bed at a reasonable time. At least i did Patrick had two games to watch.
Love,
Elizabeth, Patrick and a finally well rested audrey.
Last night i decided to do the "bed time routine" an hour later than normal. (Plus we didn't leave my moms til after 8:30.) Anyway, We started the routine at 9. I gave her a bath. put her in some pj's. I brushed her teeth and put orajel on them. I let her sit and read a book. and then let her play around quietly for a little while. After that we had family prayer and then we put her to bed. When we picked her up to go to bed she started screaming and screaming. We weren't even in her bedroom yet. She screamed for about 2 minutes and then fell asleep. About an hour or so later she woke up again and we didn't go and get her and she fell back to sleep in about 5 minutes. over all it was a nice night. Both of us got to bed at a reasonable time. At least i did Patrick had two games to watch.
Love,
Elizabeth, Patrick and a finally well rested audrey.
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